15 Ways to Charm a Southern Girl

If you want a southern woman to love you, men, here's a short list of things Southern girls still expect from you (Just think "What would my grandfather have done?"). We still expect you to...

1. STAND UP FOR A LADY. We still expect you to give up your seat for a lady. On a bus, at a bar, on a train.. we don't care where you are. Actually, this doesn't just involve chairs.
2. KNOW THAT THE SEC HAS THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAMS IN THE NATION. Big 12 fan? Hmm, perhaps you should keep walking.
3. KILL BUGS. Delta Burke as Southern belle Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designer Women said, "...Ya know, ...when men use Women's Liberation as an excuse not to kill bugs for you. Oh, I just hate that! I don't care what anybody says, I think the man should kill the bug!"
4. HOLD DOORS OPEN.
5. FIX THINGS OR BUILD STUFF. I once watched in awe as my stepfather built a front porch on the house he shares with my mother. He knew just what to do, cutting every notch, hammering every nail. The project was complete by sunset.
6. WEAR BOOTS OCCASIONALLY. Not the fancy, I-paid-$1,000-for-these-kind. We're talking about slightly mud-crusted, I-could-have-just-come-in-from-the-field boots.
7. TAKE OFF YOUR HAT INSIDE.
8. GRILL STUFF.
9. CALL US. If you want to ask us out, don't text and don't e-mail. Pick up the phone and use your voice.
10. STAND WHEN WE COME BACK TO THE DINNER TABLE. Just a little half-stand is enough to make a girl melt.
11. PULL OUT OUR CHAIRS. Wait, that's not all. Scoot them back in before we hit the floor.
12. PAY THE TAB ON THE FIRST FEW DATES. If you ask her out, you pay. If she asks you out, you should still pay. Listen guys, it's just simpler this way.
13. DON'T SHOW UP IN A WRINKLED, UNTUCKED SHIRT. Care about your appearance but not too much. Don't smell better than we do. Don't use mousse or gel. You shouldn't look like you spend more time in front of the mirror than we do.
14. NEVER GET IN BAR FIGHTS. Patrick Swayze might look cool in Road House, but in reality, bar fights are stupid and embarrassing. You don't look tough. You look like an idiot.
15. KNOW HOW TO MIX OUR FAVORITE COCKTAIL JUST THE WAY WE LIKE IT. Fix your favorite too. Sit down on the porch (it's okay if you didn't build it) on a swing, tell us how your day went, and we'll tell you about ours.